:)

eccentricdisposition: “Sometimes, you read a book and it fills...

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 19:10:42 +0100

“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.”

a bit from Heaven Can Wait - We The Kings 24/1/13 Wedgewood...

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 17:46:36 +0000

a bit from Heaven Can Wait - We The Kings 24/1/13 Wedgewood rooms, Portsmouth

little things that make life better | books

Mon, 05 Nov 2012 20:33:29 +0000

little things that make life better | books

Photo

Mon, 05 Nov 2012 20:32:32 +0000

Photo

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 12:36:43 +0000

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.

Wed, 12 Sep 2012 16:12:48 +0100

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
-----
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
-----
Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
-----
Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
-----
Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
-----
Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
-----
Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
-----
Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
-----
Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
-----
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
-----
Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
-----
Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
-----
Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
-----
Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
-----
Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
-----
Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
-----
Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
-----
Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
-----
Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
-----
Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
-----
Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
-----
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
-----
Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
-----
Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
-----
Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
-----
Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
-----
Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."

Being a law student, the stupidity of these lawyers upsets me...

“I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be - and more of a woman...

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 18:32:44 +0100

“I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be - and more of a woman than you’ll ever get.”

jenalive11: fallenjaredshannontomo: Do not lie to me...

Mon, 03 Sep 2012 10:23:51 +0100

jenalive11:

fallenjaredshannontomo:

Do not lie to me tumblr

I don’t know, I think it’s rather flattering.

jesus god can I please get more of these

Obviously the only way to wear a shirt.

Men of Tumblr…

dead

The men of tumblr win

i could dig it.

Seem’s legit tbf

Boy, this look is fabulous but I can’t seem to get the bow just right.

At first I was mad because I thought I looked ugly

But I simply added a cute jacket and I became glamorous!

^winning

THAT LAST ONE WITH THE JACKET TOO, HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Why are these guys doing this?

I mean, why even try, when the baddest bitch is right here?

This made my night.

You are all my heroes.

I think this short sleeve makes me look slutty.

^ Brb dying. x’DDD

somebody give these men ALL THE AWARDS!! :D

hahahaha this is classic

Hahah men of tumblr win.

edwardspoonhands: FEEL INSIDE! (and stuff like that) - New from...

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 21:33:10 +0100

edwardspoonhands:

FEEL INSIDE! (and stuff like that) - New from Flight of the Conchords.

Happy birthday John Green! Thanks for being awesome!

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 17:03:53 +0100

Happy birthday John Green! Thanks for being awesome!

Just managed to purchase Mayday Parade’s A Lesson in Romantics LP- nice to have another vinyl...

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 13:05:57 +0100

Just managed to purchase Mayday Parade’s A Lesson in Romantics LP- nice to have another vinyl for my collection :)

This is why the ocean scares me so much its not the sharks, nor...

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:53:50 +0100

This is why the ocean scares me so much its not the sharks, nor the giant fucking squid its just the vast emptiness

mowramblings: Alright, which companion was dumb enough to take...

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:50:11 +0100

mowramblings:

Alright, which companion was dumb enough to take him to the hospital?

Photo

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 22:00:17 +0100

I hate it when I see really nice clothes in tumblr and have no idea where I can get them from.

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 21:07:00 +0100

I hate it when I see really nice clothes in tumblr and have no idea where I can get them from.

flywithafreebird: “This would be a man that loves going to work...

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 13:05:32 +0100

flywithafreebird:

“This would be a man that loves going to work and does not dread it the night before. Upon entering the Magic Kingdom, one of the security guards said to the girl “Excuse me Princess, can I have your autograph.” I could see that the book was filled with children’s scribbles as the guard asked the same question of many little Princesses. The little girl could not get over the fact that the guard thought she was a real princess.”

Photo

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 00:07:24 +0100

Photo

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 10:36:36 +0100

wanna-scream: fairygodblogger: mercerism: this is what they...

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 20:47:46 +0100

wanna-scream:

fairygodblogger:

mercerism:

this is what they play in the elevator when you descend into hell

for the love of god dont click on it

WHY

I laughed, out loud, for a very long time over this.

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 19:35:15 +0100

I laughed, out loud, for a very long time over this.